"In spring, when -woods are getting
green, I'll try and tell you what I mean:
In summer, when the days are long,
Perhaps you'll understand the song.'"
"For this must ever be -A secret
Kept from all the rest Between
yourself and me."
Lots of people like rainbows. Children
make wishes on them, artists paint them,
dreamers chase them, but the Aquarian is
ahead of everybody. He lives on one. What's
more, he's taken it apart and examined it,
piece by piece, color by color, and he still
believes in it. It isn't easy to believe in
something after you know what it's really
like, but the Aquarian is essentially a
realist, even though his address is
tomorrow, with a wild-blue-yonder zip code.
Like the bewildered Alice, taken through
the maze of Wonderland by Aquarian Lewis
Carroll, you'll have to be constantly
prepared for the unexpected with Uranians.
Generally kindly and tranquil by nature,
Aquarians nevertheless enjoy defying public
opinion, and they secretly delight in
shocking more conventional people with
occasional erratic conduct. These normally
soft-spoken and courteous souls can suddenly
short circuit you with the most amazing
statements and actions at the most
unpredictable times. The typical Uranian is
half Albert Schweitzer and half Mickey
Mouse. His feet can be wearing sandals,
boots, oxfords, or hush puppies, and he'll
seldom bother to check whether they're
appropriate for the occasion. He'll show up
barefoot if he feels like it, and laugh at
you for laughing at him. Aquarians often
deliberately adopt weird attire to show
their refusal to conform.
You can often recognize people born under
this fixed, air sign by their frequent use
of the word friend, Aquarian Franklin
Roosevelt's fireside chats invariably began
with, "My friends . . ." and the typical
Uranus question after a broken romance is,
"Can't we still be friends?" Aquarius is
neither jaded nor naive, neither
enthusiastic nor blase. Continuous
experimentation simply leaves him curious to
penetrate the next mystery, and the next
mystery could be you. That person who seems
to be either a million miles away mentally,
or else dissecting you under an invisible
microscope, is probably an Aquarian. It can
be disconcerting to discover, after all his
intense, nattering curiosity, that he's just
as deeply interested in the personal lives
of the corner policeman, the bartender, the
bellboy, the night club singer or the
inmates of the funny house as he is in
yours. Politics fascinate him, sports absorb
him and children intrigue him. But then so
do horses, automobiles, elderly people,
medical discoveries, authors, astronauts,
alcoholics, pianos, pinwheels and
prayers-not to mention baseball and Louis
Armstrong. Join the crowd and toss your ego
in the wastebasket, or his coolly impersonal
approach will be sure to bruise it.
Look for a strange, faraway look in the
eyes, as if they contained some kind of
magic, mysterious knowledge you can't
penetrate. Aquarius eyes are typically
vague, with a dreamy, wandering expression,
and often (but not always) blue, green or
gray. The hair is frequently straight and
silky, likely to be blonde, sandy or light
brown; the complexion is pale and the
height is usually taller than average
(thougiythe ascendant can modify the
appearance of any Sun sign). You'll notice a
marked nobility of profile. Uranus features
are finely chiseled, suggestive of Roman
emperors cut on old gold coins. True
Aquarians will often adopt the pose of the
drooping head when they're thinking about a
problem, or just after they've asked a
question. The head drops abruptly forward,
or cocks to one side, waiting for your
reaction. Curiously, thanks to the dual
sexuality of Uranus, there are often
feminine characteristics in the male bodies,
such as broad hips, for example-and
masculine characteristics in the female
body, such as broad shoulders.
Freedom-loving Uranians can be acutely
funny, perverse, original, conceited and
independent, but they can also be
diplomatic, gentle, sympathetic and timid.
The Aquarian will almost desperately seek
the security of crowds and saturate himself
with friendship. Then hell fall into a
gloomy, morose spell of loneliness, and want
to be strictly left alone. But whether he's
mingling or singling, he'll retain his sharp
perception, which is at once both deeper and
quicker than others. Uranus makes him a
natural rebel who instinctively feels that
all old customs are wrong, and that drastic
alteration and revolutionary change is what
the world and people need (although if he's
in politics, he's clever enough not to
broadcast his views prematurely and spoil
his strategy).
To this end, Aquarians are always
analyzing situations, friends and strangers.
It can be disturbing when they start asking
pointblank questions, with a bare minimum of
tact, as they probe into the heart of your
private feelings. When they discover the
puzzle wasn't so complex after all, they
become bored, sometimes even upset. Nothing
is more insulting than to have an Aquarian
tire of his game of microscopic examination
and turn to the next interesting person,
just when he's convinced you he thinks you
are the most important human being on earth.
It stings.
Despite their fixation on friendship,
Aquarians don't have many intimates. They
seek quantity rather than quality in their
associations, and they seldom settle down to
a steady relationship for more than a
limited period. There's too much to discover
around the next comer to remain tied to one
or two friendships exclusively. It does
little good to make an emotional appeal to
such an impersonal nature, but if you touch
the heart of an Aquarian (which is not the
same thing as mere emotion), he'll usually
get off his bicycle and come back to see
what he might have missed.
A peculiar sort of isolation hangs over
the Uranian, and he's often misunderstood by
mankind. That's because mankind hasn't yet
caught up with the Aquarian Utopia. Since
the water bearer lives in the future, coming
back only briefly to the present, he can
seem just plain pixilated to more mundane
souls. He senses this, and it deepens his
sense of isolation. But just because others
can't keep up with him is no reason in his
opinion to go backwards. So he wanders among
his lonely clouds, while we mere mortals
wonder what he's doing way out there.
Astrology teaches us that "As the Aquarian
thinks, so will the world think in fifty
years." That may be true, but it certainly
doesn't narrow the gap between the
Uranus-ruled and the rest of us today. This
Sun sign is known as the sign of genius, and
so it is, since over seventy percent of the
people in the Hall of Fame are either Sun
Aquarians or have Aquarian ascendants. On
the other hand, a substantially high
percentage of those confined in mental
institutions, or who drop in for regular
couch sessions with an analyst, are also
Aquarians. There's a fine line, they say,
between genius and insanity, and your
Uranian friends can sometimes make you
wonder which side of the line they're on. A
great deal of the confusion is due to man's
tendency to belittle his prophets. The
familiar quotes that "they laughed at Fulton
and his steamboat," "they thought Edison was
mentally retarded," and "they wanted to lock
up Louis Pasteur," are examples of the
attitude of the materialistic world toward
those whose senses are tuned to higher
spheres of thought.
Uranians are a curious mixture of cold,
practicality and eccentric instability, and
they seem to have an instinctive empathy
with the mentally disturbed. It's a curious
fact that almost any Aquarian can
substantially reduce the anxiety of the
insane simply by talking to them quietly. He
has a marvelous knack for calming hysterical
people and soothing frightened children. Is
it because of his own thinly-covered, highly
acute nervous system that he has such deep
understanding?
The Aquarian outlook is so broad that
youll seldom find one who is prejudiced,
unless there are severe planetary influences
in the natal chart. Even then, he'll be
deeply shocked when his prejudice is pointed
out. The brotherhood instinct is so strong
in him that when a rare Aquarian is guilty
of being intolerant, he's not only unaware
of it, he hates the label. Ordinarily,
everyone is his brother or sister. He'll
wander through affluent society and the
slums alike with his symbolic jar, gathering
the waters of knowledge and pouring them
out again, except for those occasional
lapses into hibernation. But his hiding put
periods seldom last long, and before you get
a chance to miss him the Uranian is back
gregariously making the rounds again. Don't
try to interrupt his solitude. When he wants
to be alone, he wants to be alone, but he
hasn't retired from the mainstream
permanently, even if he does take a sudden
Uranus notion to get an unlisted phone
number. His address hasn't changed, and
neither has he. He can never renounce people
for long. Ignore him and he'll soon
be walking around town on those home-made
stilts, as alert and inquisitive as ever.
Ordinarily, it's difficult to get an
Aquarian to make a precise appointment. He'd
rather keep it loose, because he doesn't
like to be pinned down to specific duties or
obligations at specific times. He prefers a
casual "111 see you around-maybe sometime
Tuesday" to a definite hour for a meeting.
(And he sometimes means the second Tuesday
of next week.) However, I will say that once
you've succeeded in nailing him and he
gives you his word he'll meet you at a
particular hour he will be there on the dot.
You can count on it, even set your watch by
his punctuality, and you'd better not be
late yourself. Hell show up dependably,
unless he's been kidnapped on the way
(which, being an Aquarian, he could be.
Anything can happen to these people at any
time. I mean but anything).
You can expect him to give his opinion
frankly, but he won't try to dictate how you
should think or how you should live your
life. Conversely, he doesn't intend to let
you tell him how he should think or live
his. Unlike Aries and Leo or Gemini, he has
no desire to hard sell his ideas to others.
The Aquarian philosophy is that everyone has
fais thing, his special yearning. Each
person dances to his own fiddle music, and
individuality should be respected. It's
interesting to see that, as the world moves
into the Aquarian Age, the heralds of the
new era are the flower people and the Gurus.
In exaggerated fashion, they are simply
reflecting the Aquarian ideals:
equality-brotherhood-love for all-live and
let live-seek the truth-experiment-and
retire to meditate.
You'll rarely find the Aquarian fighting
fiercely for a cause. They live their code,
and feel that's enough. Let Aries, Scorpio,
Leo and Sagittarius grab the sword and
battle gloriously to free the downtrodden.
The Uranus-ruled souls are too busy figuring
out the reason for the revolution, listening
to people's troubles and sharing
sympathetic understanding. Aquarius
believes in violent change, but he leaves
the violence to others. He's not a moral or
a physical coward. He just isn't geared for
battle. When a fight catches him unaware, he
may strike out blindly in confusion, or he
may simply agree, to end the argument. His
reaction is unpredictable, but one thing is
certain. The next day his opinion will be as
fixed as it was before. Anyone skilled in
debate can usually get the best of him,
since his attention can so easily wander to
the abstract in a battle of wits. The
Aquarian fights best with his hat. He puts
it on and leaves. His truth-respecting mind,
however, won't budge an inch when he has a
firm conviction, despite his distaste for
unpleasant confrontations. All the shouting
and emotional pressure in the world won't
keep him from determinedly going his own way
with his independent ideas, while the
fireworks explode all around him. Our two
Aquarian Presidents, Abraham Lincoln and
Franklin Roosevelt, demonstrate this
principle perfectly. The concepts were
equally original and strikingly unpopular in
both cases. There was no aggressive
insistence on personal theories, yet the
sweeping reforms were made, regardless of
lack of cooperation and bitter opposition.
Another reason why Uranians often meet
with hostile criticism is that they're so
full of surprises. They can lead you west,
then suddenly turn and march east, without
warning. Aquarius has an obstinate way of
not letting you know what he's up to. For
weeks, the February-born father of a friend
of mine ignored his wife's complaints about
a stove that didn't work. He buried himself
in his newspaper, oblivious to her desperate
hints. Suddenly one day a truck pulled up,
two men unloaded a brand new stove and
connected it in the kitchen under the
surprised eyes of his wife, who should have
learned to expect such behavior.
Trusting people doesn't come naturally to
the Aquarian until after he's scrutinized
your motives, even your .soul, if possible.
It's easy to grow restive under his intent
analysis of your every word and gesture. You
get the feeling it's all being filed away in
that penetrating mind for future reference,
and it is. He may seem to be in a dreamy fog
now and then, but don't you believe it. He
can probably tell you how many eyelashes you
have. Never expect the Uranian to take you
at face value. His innate courtesy will
never keep him from shining the Uranus
spotlight on you from head to toe. He wants
to know what's behind that face, and he'll
ask some mighty embarrassing questions to
find out. But it's comforting to know that
once you're accepted hell be loyal and his
friendship will be unshaken by malicious
gossip. If you're his real friend, he won't
believe the nasty whispers of your enemies,
although hell undoubtedly listen to them out
of sheer curiosity. Rest assured, however,
that he'U make up his own mind in the final
analysis.
Uranus illnesses are usually connected
with the circula- s* tory system. Aquarians
shiver and shake in the winter, and suffer
with the humidity in the summer. They're
', susceptible to varicose veins and
hardening of the arteries in old age, if
their emotions are directed into negative
channels, and they tend to have accidents to
the legs, especially the shin and ankles.
The ankle bones are often weak, and there
may be pains in the legs, due to poor
circulation; frequent sort throats; and
sometimes heart palpitation, usually not
serious unless there are severe afflictions
in the natal chart. Uranians need lots of
fresh air, sleep and exercise, but they
seldom take advantage of these remedies.
They don't get much fresh air because they
close their windows, pile on the blankets
and still complain that they're freezing.
The high frequency nervous tension that
accompanies Uranus mental activity keeps
them from getting enough sleep, and often
the rest they do get is troubled by strange
dreams. As for exercise, unless the Aquarian
developed an early love of sports by playing
stickball in his neighborhood, it's
difficult to prod him into moving fast, let
alone running around the track. His mind
gets a continual workout, but the body needs
a strong push. Aquarian health is usually
excellent in childhood, barring weird,
Uranian complaints-impossible to diagnose.
The real troubles don't begin until maturity
increases stubbornness. These people are
extremely susceptible to hypnosis.
Intuitively, lots of them sense this and
won't expose themselves to it for love nor
money, but this is a mistake, because
hypnotic suggestion from a good medical
hypnotist could successfully remove their
myriad phobias. They're acutely responsive
to electrical treatment, too, which can be
just as beneficial.
Aquarians don't have the best memories in
the world, but then they really don't need
to memorize much, since they seem to pick up
knowledge out of thin air, with some
kind of invisible antennae. Why should they
clutter their minds with information they
may never need, when they can reach out by
osmosis and grasp just about anything they
want? They're likely to come home from the
store without the most important item on the
grocery list, because they can't be
bothered with remembering what is, to them,
non-essential. The typical Aquarian is the
embodiment of the legendary absent-minded
professor. I know one who planned to meet
his wife in front of the City Squire Motel
at noon. But he arrived early and ran into
an old friend. (Aquarians are always running
into old friends. In Africa or the Aleutian
Islands they will be sure to find somebody
they know.) The Uranian was engrossed in
conversation with his pal when his wife
approached, all smiles. As she came closer
he stared at her blankly, gallantly tipped
his hat, then turned, took his friend's arm
and walked down the street, deep in
conversation, leaving the furious,
frustrated woman standing on the comer,
alone and forgotten.
The Uranus power of concentration can be
awesome. Yet, they're also able to pick up
things going on around and behind them when
they choose, like a radar screen. They can
carry on a complicated discussion and still
not miss an inflection of what's happening
in the other part of the room, if they
decide to tune in. Sometimes you could swear
the Aquarian paid no attention to anything
you said, but the next day he'll repeat it
back to you like a tape recorder. Never
underestimate the Uranian process of soaking
up knowledge while they seem to be
oblivious, even though now and then they get
lost in concentration, like my friend who
left his wife standing on the street, in a
mood to kill.
What the Aquarius man or woman thinks is
always a clue to tomorrow. The uncanny
Uranus ability to plunge into the unknown
and absorb mystical secrets without half
trying leads to a peculiar sort of intuition
which gives them a high degree of psychic
precognition. I know one who literally
answers the phone before it rings, and
what's more, he knows who's on the other end
before a word is spoken. Abraham Lincoln had
several premonitions of his own death in
startling detail. Almost every Aquarian has
a unique kind of sensitivity that lets him
know your inner desires. Without talk, he
understands a need buried so deep that
you're almost unaware of it yourself. Using
that magical osmosis, the Aquarian can
transmit his own thoughts with an unseen
charge of electrical current. Even when his
back is turned, he can project strong
feelings by this strange process. During a
long silence on the telephone, he may be
sending and receiving vibrations when you
think he's fallen asleep. Some Uranians
don't need Western Union to send a telegram.
Yet, there's nothing superstitious about
their thinking. A true scientist even if
he's a mechanic or a musician, the Uranian
won't jump to a conclusion until it's passed
the test of his keen mind. However, once he
forms an opinon, it remains firmly fixed in
his brain, and I do mean firmly. As strongly
as he loves change in society and
government, he won't change his own idea one
iota for anybody. He's completely
open-minded about world progress, but his
mind clamps shut when it involves his
personal behavior, which can be unexpectedly
conservative. You can see that his
liberalism has its boundaries.
Aquarians despise lying and cheating, and
they avoid borrowing and lending. They'll
give you money as a gift, but don't ask them
for a loan. Did you ever try to touch
Aquarian Jack Benny for a fast fifty? Jack
may surprise you by saying yes, but be sure
you pay him back promptly. A broken promise
or bad debt can put a wide crack in your
friendship. Aquarians keep their word and
pay their bills, and they expect others to
do the same. Charge accounts don't normally
excite them and credit cards can frighten
them. All this love of honesty, however, can
sometimes be distorted into questionable
behavior. As much as he hates hypocrisy and
double-dealing, the Aquarian can somehow
answer questions so cleverly that he gives a
false impression. Yet hell be outspokenly
indignant if he catches anyone else guilty
of such a delicate nuance of deception.
He'll seldom tell an outright lie, but he
can fool you in very subtle ways, which is
hardly the essence of the honesty he so
constantly preaches. His unrelenting search
for truth and the desire to hide his own
motives are incompatible traits, and the
Aquarian must eventually face this
inconsistency if he's going to learn the
real truth about himself.
Aquarians get credit for being idealists,
perhaps too much credit, for true idealism
consists of blind faith and optimism, and
the Uranian is too shrewd to fool himself
with lost causes for long. He knows that
most dreams are illusions, like the rainbow
he has examined so closely and still loves.
Tradition and authority leave him
unimpressed. He'll politely respect them,
but they won't stop his compulsive drive to
uncover fallacies, distortions and illogical
assumptions.
His mind and body must both be as free as
the wind. To try to pin down the Aquarian is
to try to stabilize the butterfly, to stuff
a spring breeze into a closet or confine a
winter gale in a bottle. It can't be done,
and besides, who in the world would want to
try? Though he's so far ahead of his time
that you have trouble catching his
viewpoint immediately, it's still
worthwhile to make the attempt. You'll
always come away a little wiser, if a little
bewildered. His astrological flower is the
daffodil-and now you know the derivation of
the word "daffy."
The soul of the water bearer is
constantly torn asunder by Uranus, the
unpredictable and violent planet of change
which lets him see ahead with electric blue
clarity to the future. Aquarius belongs to
mankind. He represents its truest hopes and
its deepest ideals. Even his metal, uranium,
is not really a metal, but a radioactive,
metallic chemical, found only in
combinations. It's important in atomic
research, and it can undergo continuous
fission. The magnetic majesty of eight bolts
of brilliant lightning reflected in the
Aquarian sapphire can split open his secrets
for those who seek to know him-but only for
an instant can you see into his lonely
heart, long ago infused with Saturn's
ancient wisdom-unless you too live in
tomorrow.
Famous Aquarius Personalities
Francis Bacon Tallulah Bankhead John
Barrymore Jack Benny Shelley Bennan George
Burns Lewis Can-oil Katharine Cornell
Charles Darwin Jimmy Dean Charles Dickens
Jimmy Durante Thomas Edison Mia Farrow dark
Gable Galileo
Langston Hughes Jack Lemmon Abraham
Lincoln Charles Lindbergh Somerset Maugham
Jeanne Moreau Paul Newman Louis Nizer Kim
Novak S. J. Perelman Leontyne Price Ronald
Reagan Vanessa Redgrave Norman Rockwell
Franklin Roosevelt Ann Sothern Adiai
Stevenson
TOP
All this time the Guard -was looking
at her,
first through a telescope,
then through a microscope,
and then through an opera-glass.
At last he said, "You're traveling the
wrong way,"
and shut up the window ...
To wade bravely smack dab into the center
of the problem, don't expect an Aquarian
male to behave the way people in love are
supposed to behave. If you do, you're in for
quite a jolt, maybe even a series of jolts.
When it comes to friendship, he's all you
could ask for in a pal or a confidant.
Love? Well, as an Aquarian I once knew said,
"Anybody can have a girl. But love is
something else again." That was an astute
observation. It's "something else," all
right, with Aquarians.
It's when he acts as though he doesn't
like you that he's close to being hooked,
and the reason is elementary- simple logic.
The Aquarian water bearer likes everybody.
Everyone is his friend. He'll even refer to
his worst enemy as "my friend." So it means
something when he says he doesn't like
someone. Just what it means may take some
study. The various nuances can be
complicated.
An Aquarian man doesn't want to reveal
his true feelings, in spite of his favorite
pastime of penetrating the feelings of
others. His own reactions and motives are
complex, and he intends to keep them that
way for the pure pleasure of fooling you.
Many strange experiences will come to this
man, through both love and friendship, and
he'll scrutinize each one avidly. Until you
get him to the altar, you're just another
experience, another experiment, hard as that
may be to take. Don't sniffle. He can be
tricked, for all his caution. But before you
start tricking him, you'd better try to
understand how to cope with his unique
outlook about people.
He's a group man, and teamwork comes
naturally to him. Aquarius understands the
fair play rules of sports as if he had
invented them, and he carries these rules
into his personal relationships. His
interests are scattered all over the place.
That's because his love of people is so
impersonal;
he gives a certain value to everyone he
meets, while the rest of us save such
efforts for only the very special people in
our lives. To an Aquarian, everyone is
special. And I mean everyone. Even those he
hasn't met yet. Few Uranus men are either
selfish or petty. When he does show those
qualities, a gentle reminder that he's being
narrow-minded will bring him around.
Aquarians just can't stand to be called
narrow-minded.
He responds to unusually high ideals,
thanks to his rigid moral code (though you'd
better understand that it's his own code,
which may not necessarily reflect or
correspond to the one accepted by society in
general). He'll almost surely lead a life of
change, controversy and unexpected events.
Yet there will often be moments of perfect
tranquility with him, impossible to find
with any other Sun sign. Once he's over the
shock that he's allowed himself to become
interested in one woman above all of
mankind, he can be an extremely considerate
lover. The danger area is before he's over
the shock. Since he's so accustomed to
neglecting his own problems in the interest
of the majority, hopefully some of this
attitude will rub off on his love life.
Don't count on it, though. The chances are
just as good that he'll suddenly realize
he's devoting his complete loyalty to you
when there are all those other nameless
faces out there who need him. Then he may
lean over backwards to prove to himself that
he hasn't lost his love for his friends and
the rest of humanity by being attached to
just one person.
Forever analyzing, the Aquarian man will
frequently ask himself, "I wonder what she
meant by that?" He won't rest until he finds
out either. A puzzle drives him simply wild
and don't be fooled by his nonchalance. When
he senses something is hidden, he just won't
sleep at night until he's unraveled the
mystery and penetrated the veil. There's
always the possibility that he might be
disappointed in what he finds, so make sure
it's worth discovering. If it isn't, he'll
have no qualms about making it painfully
evident-and off he'll go to unravel a new
veil.
The girl who wants to land him eventually
has first to intrigue him. An open
book will never pique his curiosity.
He's attracted to closed pages, the more
tightly closed, the better to arouse his
detective instinct. When a female either
ignores him or keeps her own counsel, in the
beginning at least, his eyes will open" a
little wider and hell get an alert
expression, amazingly like that of a
bloodhound on the scent of something
missing. Why is she so emotional? (You can
be emotional, you see, as long as you don't
explain why.) Is she really so changeable or
is it an act? Why does she wear all that
perfume and make-up and such low-cut
dresses, and then get insulted when those
Leos and Sagittarians and Scorpios whistle
at her in front of the drugstore? Does she
want male advances or doesn't she? Is she a
puritan or promiscuous? What makes her tick?
As he probes and questions and examines, the
girl is at first flattered, naturally-but
when she sees he's just as intently curious
about the waitress who just served them (not
to mention the bus boy), she begins to cool
somewhat. Feeling like an insect trapped
under a scientist's cold eye isn't exactly
calculated to cause the heart to flutter in
any feminine bosom. So she finally drifts
(or runs) away to a more fiery or earthy
male, and the Aquarian sadly sighs for an
instant or two before he begins his next
romantic investigation. (If some new
invention or unique idea hasn't aroused his
interest first. In which case the next
female research project must wait.)
Aquarian men can be touchingly gentle and
docile, but you'd better tie a bright blue
electric string around your finger to remind
you that his surface calmness is a mirage.
So is his apparent pliability. He won't
tolerate an ounce of opportunism from a
female. If he thinks he's being exploited,
that unpredictable Uranian charm can vanish
so quickly you'll think Cary Grant has
turned into James Cagney, poised to throw a
grapefruit-half in your face. The
frightening thing is that an extremely upset
Aquarian is perfectly capable of such
shocking action. What's even more
frightening is that you may forgive him.
Don't. At least, not more than once. He
admires a woman who holds her ground, if
she's not too masculine about it, and if she
lets him fly hither and yon, unencumbered by
mushy promises and tearful accusations. As
for that grapefruit, it's only fair to point
out that Aquarians are usually most gallant
with the fair sex. But sometimes they can
forget to distinguish between the sexes in
the throes of excitement.
Couple that with the Uranus
unpredictability, and it does add up to a
possible squirt of grapefruit juice in the
eye.
There's always an excellent possibility
that an Aquarian will achieve some sort of
prestige during his lifetime. If it's only a
trophy for stickball or a brass plaque for
being the tallest man in Succatosh County
he's sure to be honored with some kind of
recognition. It could be something as
splendid as winning the Nobel Prize. Lots of
Aquarians achieve such distinctions. (On the
other hand, a large percentage of disturbed
Aquarians are weekly visitors to a head
shrinker. It may be kind of tricky to tell
the difference. )
Some Uranus-ruled men have a fetish for
cleanliness. You may bump into one who
shrieks if anyone uses his towel or breathes
on his oatmeal. Back of this is an almost
neurotic fear of germs and illness. The
Aquarian isn't above letting his phobias
trail over into his romantic life, when they
can serve a purpose, though he may do so
unconsciously. Don't be surprised if he
complains that he's allergic to your eye
shadow and it makes him sneeze. Uranians
have a way of developing allergies to things
they'd rather avoid, and they can even fool
the doctors, let alone innocent,
unsuspecting girls.
He's not the type to woo you with
extravagant gestures. He's as likely to pull
up a dandelion and toss it at you as bring
you an orchid. To be honest, more likely. He
won't present you with mink coats and
diamonds. But life with him can still be
glamorous, even without the mink. There's
the well-known story about Helen Hayes and
her husband, Charles MacArthur. When they
first met, he handed her a bowl of peanuts
and said, "I wish they were emeralds." Many
years and many dollars later, he gave her a
cluster of glittering emeralds with the
remark, "I wish they were peanuts." I don't
know if MacArthur was an Aquarian, but
Uranus was certainly prominent in his natal
chart. That's exactly the kind of unexpected
glory you'll know with an Aquarian lover.
Who needs mink?
Now let's face the worst fact
courageously. No flinching or wishful
thinking. Here it is. Unlike Cancer,
Capricorn, Leo and Libra, Aquarians don't
take to marriage like a baby takes to candy.
To be truthful, most of them avoid it as
long as it's humanly possible. A rare
Aquarian male will be enticed into a shower
of shoes and rice at an early age, but it
doesn't happen often enough for the
statistics to be encouraging. The way the
impasse usually starts is that the Aquarian
makes beautiful, wonderful, glorious
friendship the basis of the love. (Easier to
slide away from later, my dear.) They choose
a girl who's also a chum, and who can keep
up with the Aquarian interests, including
Mickey Mantle's batting average, crossword
puzzles, Arabian horses, fireflies on the
Mississippi and the Dead Sea Scrolls. Why?
That's easy. With so much to talk about,
there's less time for lovemaking, which can
get him seriously involved and committed.
His ideal is the female who is his friend,
and who doesn't make heavy emotional demands
on him. Where do we go from here? Nowhere,
usually.
Aquarian men find it difficult to relax
in physical expressions of love. That first
goodnight kiss may be a long time
materializing. Admittedly, it's often well
worth waiting for, and the suspense makes
it even more special. But he'll cling to the
illusion that he's involved in a nice, safe
platonic friendship long after such a
palsy-walsy relationship has become
impossible for you.
Even after he's mustered the courage to
say "I love you," he'll avoid the issue of
marriage with every excuse in the book. When
those run out, he can think up some pretty
imaginative new ones. He'll patiently
explain that he can't support you in the
manner you deserve, his parents need him at
home, or he's not good enough for you. If
that doesn't work, he'll claim that the
future is too uncertain, what with the
threats of nuclear destruction and all. What
if his boss sends him to Alaska next year?
You might die of pneumonia up there, and he
would be grief-stricken the rest of his
life. You think he can't top that? One
Aquarian man I know was engaged for twelve
years to a girl he wouldn't marry because
"she would have to sacrifice a great career
on Broadway." The fact that the girl had
never set foot on a stage in her life was
beside the point. He thought she had
talent. Someday, a producer might just
discover her. Then how would she feel if he
had held her back by marrying her? Worse
yet, how would he feel? Guilty. Just plain
selfish and guilty. It's not surprising that
this poor female finally escaped to a more
positive rival.
But all is not lost. Though it's true
that most Aquarians wed late, they do
eventually wed-usually. It normally happens
after the last bachelor friend has sailed
away to a Bermuda honeymoon, and the
Aquarian wakes up to realize that here is a
mystery other people have solved that he
hasn't even investigated. Naturally, he-
can't stand that, so pop goes the proposal!
Suddenly, of course.- Uranus, you know.
In the early stages, you may think he
needs a lesson and decide to let him think
he's lost you to a more aggressive suitor.
Let me warn you that you're likely to stay
lost. Your broken-hearted Uranian is not
nearly as apt to come charging after you
with the fire of possession in his eye as he
is to shed a couple of quiet tears and say,
"Well, I guess the best man won." He'll
resign himself to a life without you with
insulting ease. He's even liable to ask the
unbearable question, "Can't we still be
friends?" If you say no emphatically, he'll
probably just shrug dejectedly and slowly
walk away. If you say yes-well, you're right
back where you started-friends.
Jealousy isn't his cup of eggnog. He'll
trust you until you show him you can't be
trusted. Not because he's trusting by
nature, but because his analytical
dissection has already satisfied him about
your character. Unless there are marked
afflictions in his natal chart, he's not
capable of unfounded suspicion and
possessiveness. If he does have a rare stab
of jealousy, you'll never know it if he can
help it. He will rarely, if ever, be
physically unfaithful himself, mostly
because the whole subject of sex, though
it's interesting, doesn't consume him. An
occasional Aquarian may spend a great deal
of time intensely pondering sex, but if you
know one of these, you can safely assume
there's a heavy Scorpio influence in his
natal chart. (And chances are even this type
won't pursue it actively and openly.)
Once an Aquarian has chosen a mate, he
figures he can concentrate on more important
things. He can relax and investigate the
boy-giri or man-woman relationship at his
own leisure in his own private laboratory
(which isn't a bad possibility for its
eventual chance of success when you stop to
think about it).
Uranian sex is part of a larger image or
ideal. Should a temptation to engage in
illicit romance arise (illicit in his eyes,
that is), he'll usually end the affair
abruptly, though it may hurt him deeply,
rather than continue what he considers to be
a dishonest relationship. The situation that
made him feel -guilty could be almost
anything, from the disapproval of your
parents or conflicting religions to an old
boy friend not completely discarded, a
promise he made to himself at the age of
eight, or something he once read in a book.
But whatever it is, it will somehow have to
be adjusted and resolved before he'll ever
renew the closeness, even if the love is as
fated as that of Victoria and Albert. The
Aquarian will always let his heart break
silently, lest his friends hear and ask
questions.
He's capable of waiting undl he's ninety
to claim you, even if you feel that's a bit
long to wait for consummation. The worst of
it is that hell never give a reason for the
break. That's for him to know and you to
find out. He'll perversely let you think it
was just a fantasy from the beginning, and
hold back the real truth that it was genuine
for some hazy future day of forgiveness and
reconciliation. It can be pretty cruel, but
that's the way he plays the game.
Your only comfort is the knowledge that
he's suffering in his own way, too. How will
you know that? Read "How to Recognize
Aquarius" again. He has his subtle ways of
telegraphing his feelings, and they can be
enormously frustrating-especially when his
unique, private communication signals a
green go light while he publicly keeps
holding out a red stop light until he's
ready to switch. It can make for some nasty
romantic traffic snarls. It's hard on the
pedestrian, but he's in the driver's seat,
so there's not a lot you can do-except
perhaps think up another mystery to tempt
him with, or maybe shake him a little with
some smashing success to make him curious to
talk with you again-like being the first
woman to orbit Venus.
Not that such a feat will change his
feelings. If he really loves you, he'll love
you even if you don't orbit any farther than
to the comer delicatessen, but it might
interfere with his fixed strategy. You may
gather from all this that a Uranus man can
be pretty stubborn when it comes to love.
You would be so right. His fixity in
affectionate matters can drive you straight
into the booby hatch or drive you to someone
else in desperation. That's a big fat waste
of time. He's not jealous, remember? Or he
won't show it if he is. Besides, with his
darned Uranian intuition, he'll know it's
all an act. Because he knows what makes you
tick. Don't forget, he studied you for a
long time. About the only thing you can do
is hope you'll still be attractive at ninety
or else start practicing those Venus orbits.
Putting the shoe on the other foot, an
Aquarian can arouse a heap of possessiveness
in you when the tables are turned. Don't let
it throw you off balance. Thanks to the
everlasting Uranus proclivity for
friendship, whenever and wherever he finds
it, there may be times when you won't know
where he is, even after you're married and
you should. Just tell yourself that, no
matter how late he sits up with a friend,
it's only his normal curiosity at work, his
never-ending interest in people. If the
friend is a woman, pretend you didn't
notice. In all honesty, he most likely
didn't. You can expect the truth when you
ask him a direct question. But if you doubt
him and ask again, he'll figure you don't
want the truth. To punish you, he'll make up
the wildest story he can dream up (and he
can dream up some pretty wild ones). You may
regret your suspicions when you spend a few
hours in abject misery wondering if he
really did tell that redhead she was
gorgeous. (That's after he told you he
didn't even remember talking to her and you
said, "Ha! I just bet you don't remember.")
He honestly didn't, but you asked for
details, so he gladly obliged with some
purely imaginary ones to teach you a lesson.
You'll learn fast.
Don't be hurt when he's in one of his
solitary moods and prefers to be alone with
his silent dreams. He'll return to share
them with you, all the more warm and tender
for his spiritual retreat and anything that
warms him up should definitely be
encouraged.
He may not be the best breadwinner
around, but he's capable of inventing
something beneficial to the world or being
the first man to land on Mars. He'll feel
right at home there, too. There's always a
surprise just around the comer with an
Aquarian husband, even when the budget is
shaky. Naturally, there are a few Uranian
men who are wealthy, even millionaires, but
a high income bracket is seldom a burning
ambition. All the rich Aquarians you see
probably stumbled on it. It's certain they
didn't greedily grasp for it. If he has a
fat bank book, the chances are it gained
weight while he was attempting to improve
some product or idea for the good of
humanity in general-or he's saved it to
support his eccentric old age. Who knows? He
might want to take a trip in a time machine
someday, and he wants to be sure to have the
fare. Most of the time he'll be reasonable
about money, but save when you can, and
don't run up charge accounts. He'll never
recover from sheer extravagance on your
part. Sometimes he can surprise you with a
burst of generosity, but he won't go
overboard, unless he has an Aries, Leo,
Sagittarius or Pisces ascendant. Even then,
he won't be a big butter and egg man.
The children will find him the greatest
listener on the block. He'll be fascinated
at the perfect breath control of the wolf
when he blew down the three little pigs'
pad- and curious about how the old witch
pickled the poisoned apple that put the
whammy on Snow White. A small boy's trouble
learning how to strike a home run and a
little girl's tears over a broken doll are
simply the problems of a couple of pals in
trouble to an Aquarian father. He's a whiz
at complicated arithmetic questions, too.
Don't let your career make you neglect to
feed him or sew on his buttons. Don't
encourage your girl friends to camp on his
couch or tie up the telephone for hours, and
don't get engrossed in TV or a novel when he
wants you to find his old soft ball in the
attic or pull a splinter out of his finger.
He married you for several reasons. Though
romance may play its part, the most
important reason was to have you around-so
he would always have someone to mash his
baked potato, cross-stitch his buttonholes,
find his lost articles and operate on an
occasional splinter. He won't cotton to
your letting television, reading or female
chums interfere with those duties. His idea
of a good wife and mother is quite simple: a
woman who keeps at it almost constantly.
Even the more liberal Aquarian husbands will
frown on a glamorous gadabout. But you won't
mind it too much. He's so full of
interesting surprises himself you won't need
soap operas, women's magazines and
tete-a-tetes with girl friends to keep your
mind and emotions challenged. (He may be
about all the challenge you can take.) You
can always catch up on the female gossip and
such when he's engrossed in some new project
and gets a little absent-minded about what
you're doing. But just be sure to be there
when he has a sore finger, because he can be
a real sorehead when he's neglected.
Strangely, since he's so realistic about
most things, the Aquarian will never forget
his first love. (Not the first date, but the
first girl who ever gave him a rainbow.
There's a difference.) Uranians frequently
marry childhood sweethearts years later, or
cling to a faded illusion. An Aquarian can
usually describe his first love in detail,
which can be annoying to a wife. The
solution is to be that first love. You may
have to wait a long time to wear orange
blossoms, but at least you won't be replaced
by a ghost. Who else could turn peanuts into
emeralds or vice versa, never mind a little
grapefruit juice in the eye? Despite his
general romantic clumsiness, he can come up
with sudden phrases which could only have
been invented by the angels. He can forget
your wedding anniversary, but he'll bring
you violets in January. Christmas? Who says
it has to be on December 25th? It can be any
dme you want it to be. He may go for days or
weeks or months without a single word of
romance or affection. Then some morning
while you're slicing his blueberry pie,
he'll look deep into your eyes and ask
gently, "Do you know how beautiful you are?"
There will be something about the way he
says it that will make your knees weak.
Jingle bells on the seashore, birthdays
at dawn. Valentine's Day on Halloween,
rainbows at midnight. Pin a red heart on an
orange pumpkin, roll Easter eggs in the
snow, light the candles on the cake on top
of a ferris wheel- you're in love with an
Aquarian, didn't you know? I wish you a
Frank Merriwell ending. But be careful. You
can get lost out there in Wonderland.
TOP
But Alice had got so much into the
-way
of expecting nothing but
out-of-the-way things to happen
that it seemed quite dull and stupid
for life to go on in the common way
...
Put cats in the coffee, and mice in
the tea- And welcome Queen Alice with thirty
times three!
The safest way to enter into romance with
an Aquarian female is to remember she's as
paradoxical in love as she is in everything
else. That way, you won't be expecting
Priscilla Alden and get Pocahontas.
This girl has all the faithfulness of the
fixed signs when die's in love, but she also
has the detachment and lack of emotion of
the air element. It's possible to have a
happy relationship with the Uranus woman if
you leave her free to pursue her myriad
interests and circulate among her friends.
Never try to tie her to the stove or the
bedpost. Ask the man who's tried. She can
suddenly decide to study ballet, meditate in
the mountains or join the Peace Corps.
Remember the story of the princess with the
long, golden hair who lived high in a tower?
That's the Aquarius female. Cutting off her
flowing tresses won't change her any more
than it did in the fairy tale. She dreams
different dreams than you or I. She hears a
distant drummer-and follows a star most of
us have never seen.
She belongs to everyone, and yet to no
one. Her love can be tender and inspired,
but there will always be a vaguely elusive
quality about it, like a half-remembered
song. You can hum the melody, but the lyrics
keep slipping away. The Aquarian girl's
demand for freedom is insistent, but her
allegiance to anyone who can accept romance
within such limits is boundless. Here's
something you'll like:
She won't be terribly interested in your
bank book (unless Cancer or Capricorn or
Taurus is on her ascendant). Money is never
the prime consideration of the typical
Aquarian woman. She won't care if you're not
the richest man in town, but she'll expect
you to be respected in some way for your
intellectual achievements. Dr. Christian
Bamard and his heart transplants or Wemher
von Braun and his rockets interest her far
more than J. Paul Getty and his billions.
When you set out to catch this butterfly
in your net, remember that she'll never
spend her unpredictable life with a man who
isn't true to himself. Her own code of
ethics may be as weird as anything you've
ever come across, and quite different from
the accepted codes of society, but she lives
up to it totally. She'll understand that
your rules may also be highly individual.
That's fine with her, but don't compromise
those rules. If you're looking for a passion
flower, you've picked the wrong daisy.
Passion is not her forte if she's a typical
Aquarian. She'll think physical love is
pleasant enough, if it's not overemphasized.
In other words, she can take it or leave it
alone. Uranus females can respond to
lovemaking with a haunting, deep intensity,
but if you prefer to keep it platonic for
long periods of time, that's all right, too.
Like all Aquarians, she may have an
unconscious fear that desire for one person
will imprison the spirit in some way, and
keep her from being true to her one great
love-freedom. Freedom to experiment and
investigate and freedom to give time to
humanity. Also freedom to pursue her rather
kicky, off-beat fancies.
She's an ideal girl if you're planning a
political, scientific or educational career.
You couldn't do better, unless you happen to
run across an Aquarian girl with adverse
planetary positions in her natal chart who
enjoys shocking people by walking barefoot
down Main Street or smoking big black
cigars on buses. There are some pretty wild,
way-out Uranian females here and there. But
the average girl born under the sign of the
water bearer is a social delight. She's
graceful, witty, bright as a penny, and
extremely adaptable to all forms of
society, high and low and in the middle.
Her lack of suspicion under normal
circumstances is a special bonus. A
traveling salesman should find his dream
girl in the typical Aquarian female. If she
actually catches you being unfaithful, it
will cause a deep wound to her sensitive
nature. You'll know it the minute you look
into those strange, dreamy eyes. But she
won't suspect you without cause, and she'll
rarely doubt your word. The typical Uranus
woman will never check up on you after you
leave, phone you at the office, inspect your
handkerchiefs for lipstick stains or look
for blonde hairs caught in your cuff link.
Deception will have to be brought forcibly
to her attention; she won't go out looking
for it. Before you give her too much credit,
consider that her lack of passionate
jealousy is due to something more than
strength of character. First of all, she
probably dissected your psyche under a
microscope before she gave you a second
glance. Besides, she has so many outside
interests and so many people who turn her on
to talk with, there's not much time for her
to worry about what you're doing when you're
out of sight. Out of sight can often mean
out of mind for Aquarians of both sexes.
Absence seldom makes the Uranus heart grow
fonder. Occasionally, an Aquarian woman will
suffer a promiscuous or flirtatious mate,
because there's something she needs which
she can find only with him, so she looks the
other way. On the other hand, if she doesn't
really need you, that moral strength will
work in reverse at the first actual proof of
infidelity. Shell simply walk away. Don't
try to kindle the embers, they're stone cold
dead. Of course, you can still be friends.
Why not?
She's willing. It never embarrasses an.
Aquarian girl to be chummy with ex-lovers or
husbands. She's forgotten the past and wiped
the slate clean of memories.
There is one peculiar and notable
exception to the rule. Like the Uranus man,
the Uranian female will remember the first
true and honest love for a lifetime. Only
the first, however. Are you wondering
whether that Aquarius girl you once knew
still remembers you? The answer lies in her
definition of love. It could have something
to do with the first boy who gave her a
bunch of sweet peas when she was nine-the
boy who walked her through the park in the
rain-or the one with the funny ears who knew
the clown at the circus, and used to feed
her peanuts.
Uranus women involved in extra-marital
affairs are rare. They can be tempted in
exceptional situations, but a dishonest
relationship goes against their chemistry.
It won't be long until an undercover romance
is broken off for good. Yet, there are many
Aquarian divorcees. There's a reason. If a
situation becomes intolerable, the Uranian
nature turns cold suddenly. They can
disappear overnight, and never look back.
They don't seek or enjoy divorce, but it
isn't the shock to them it is to their more
sentimental sisters. Uranus rules change,
you know. Since she's such an individualist,
with a list of friends several miles long,
the Aquarian female never hesitates to make
her way alone if the need arises.
Expect her to probe into your heart until
you haven't a secret left, or a dream that
hasn't been analyzed. But don't try to
dissect her private thoughts. That's not the
way the game is played with Aquarians.
She'll keep her motives hidden, and
sometimes take a perverse pleasure in
deliberately confusing you. She'll usually
be truthful to a fault, but remember, with
an Aquarian, telling a lie is one thing.
Refraining from telling the whole story is
another.
It's comforting to know that an Aquarian
girl is pretty cagey with a buck. That is,
it's comforting to know unless you're
planning to hit her for a loan. She might
say yes a time or two, but if you let your
credit rating slip, she can be colder than
the guy at the bank when you skip your car
payment. On the rare occasions when she
accepts a small loan herself, you'll get
back every penny with no stalling, excuses
or feminine wiles, if she's a typical Uranus
female. As for every man's nightmare of
charge accounts, you'll have little worry on
that score. Aquarian women are uncomfortable
about owing money. Bad debts don't fit in
with the Uranus code.
Her appearance is puzzling. Most Aquarian
women are lovely, with a haunting, wistful
beauty. But they're changeable. They can
give an impression of smooth whipped cream,
then suddenly switch to salty pizza as
quickly as a bright, blue, zig-zag bolt of
Uranian electricity. Next to Ubrans,
Aquarian females are often the most
beautiful women in the zodiac. At the very
least, they're interesting-looking. The
Aquarian manner of dressing can stop you
dead in your tracks. There are a few of them
who could grace the cover of a fashion
magazine, but the average Aquarian girl is
anything but conventional about her
costumes. She can wear some outfits a gypsy
would envy, and her naked individuality can
produce some mighty unique combinations.
She'll usually be the first to wear a new
fad, no matter how zany it is, yet she can
also stick to Grandma's styles-even
great-grandma's styles. With typical -
Aquarian indifference, she'll mix
yesterday's lace snood with today's metallic
jump suit, and the effect can be a little
startling. She'll wear her lace nightgown to
a formal banquet, ostrich feathers to the
supermarket, bell bottom slacks to the
opera, sneakers to the theater, diamonds
when she visits the zoo-and top it all off
with a faded Mother Hubbard she picked up in
a thrift shop.
Your Aquarian girl will probably have an
unusual way of wearing her hair. Her tresses
are as unpredictable as her personality.
They can be worn braided, pig-tailed, pinned
in a bun, flowing down like a waterfall,
short as a marine's, in Mary Pickford curls
or as straight as a poker. One thing you can
depend on. Her hair won't look like the hair
of any other female on this planet.
A conversation with her can be
remarkable, to say the least. She has
charming manners, and usually behaves in a
timid, almost reserved way. Then comes one
of those sudden Uranus urges, and out will
pop a remark with absolutely no relation to
what anyone is saying. You'll be talking
about the fluctuations of the stock market,
and she'll interrupt out of nowhere with:
"Did you know that Woodrow Wilson, Jack
Kennedy, Herbert Hoover, Harry Truman,
Calvin Coolidge, Benjamin Harrison, Franklin
and Theodore Roosevelt and William McKinley
all have double letters in their names?"
There's only one way to answer a question
like that. Tell her she missed Millard
Fillmore, Ulysses Grant and Thomas
Jefferson. Then gently, but firmly, lead
the discussion back to the stock market.
Other minds may progress in fairly logical
steps, but hers rigs into tomorrow, then
zags back into today with no more sense of
direction than a flash of lightning. Now and
then she'll toss off an unexpectedly
poignant phrase. You'll ask her what she
thinks of space travel and she'll answer,
"When I was a little girl, I thought the
stars were holes in the floor of heaven
where the light shone through." If she's in
a different mood, you'll say that melted
snowmen make you sad, and shell counter
with: "A melted snowman is just a pile of
slush, Charlie." First misty-then practical.
First timid-then rowdy. Aquarian women will
rudely ridicule flying saucers, then tell
you a story about a polka-dotted elf on a
windowsill. Never talk down to an Aquarian
female. She'll resent not being considered
your equal, and an unsympathetic attitude
will cause her to retreat and become
unapproachable.
Since Uranus rules the future, you might
imagine that these girls would be natural
mothers. Children do, after all, belong to
the future. But the average Aquarian woman
may be bewildered by motherhood in the
beginning. She has to adjust to devoting all
her attention and energy exclusively to one
human being for a period of time, when she's
used to spreading herself far and wide, and
this can take some practice. Her natural
aloofness may make it difficult for her to
demonstrate warm affection outwardly. The
typical Aquarian mother is devoted to her
offspring, but also somewhat detached toward
them. But shell probably be the most
willing PTA worker in the neighborhood.
She'll talk happily for hours with their
small friends on their own level without
patronizing them, and she'll give up her
afternoons to work for a school project. The
children will learn the lessons of
brotherhood and humanity from her by
observation. Aquarian mothers are never
fiercely protective of their children. They
take a tolerant view of the most startling
confession. A Uranus woman will seldom
punish a child for telling the truth, no
matter what he's done. With her unprejudiced
viewpoint, she'll gain the complete
confidence of her little ones. She's great
at reassuring young minds about everything
from monsters hiding under the bed to the
pain of being ignored in the playground. She
can turn their tears to laughter in minutes.
Your children will find her jolly fun, a
little helter-skelter, relaxed about
housework, helpful with homework and gentle
when they're ill. She won't smother them
with affection, and she'll seldom nag. Maybe
Tommy didn't wash his hands the third time
he was told, but she's more interested in
what he learned in science class.
We may be a little ahead of ourselves.
Even though Uranus likes to reverse the
existing orders of things, before your
Aquarian girl becomes a mother she has to
become a wife. And before she becomes your
wife, you'll have to convince her that
marriage isn't synonymous with Al-catraz.
She won't exactly rush into matrimony. She's
in no hurry to take your name until she's
weighed you, sorted you, tested you, and
found out what makes you tick. The opinions
of her friends and family will mean nothing,
though she may ask them what they think out
of curiosity. She has her own yardstick for
measuring you. Assuming you pass her test,
marriage to an Aquarian girl can be
confusing. She'll listen pleasantly when you
give her advice, but there's something in
the Uranian make-up that prevents her from
following directions explicitly. She can't
stick to the recipe when she bakes one of
her angel food cakes anymore than she can
park the car exactly where you told her to.
There's some kind of a snag in her thinking
that causes her to believe just a little
twist will improve anything. But shell
smile agreeably as she goes on her own sweet
way. There's a constant urge to experiment
with a different way to make the coffee,
fill her pen, fasten her ice skates or cross
the street. She'll wear a sweater
backwards, mix her brandy with milk,
arrange flowers in a fish bowl, rinse her
hair in shaving lotion or make a rock garden
on your desk. But don't ask her why. She
doesn't know herself. The unique and unusual
is her wave-length, that's all.
Because her nature is so impersonal,
expressions of deep feeling won't come
easily. Except for those sudden remarks that
sound likes a combination of Robert Frost
and Yogi Berra, she has few words with which
to express her love, and her pattern of
physical passion is woven closely with
threads connected to the mind and soul.
Although the unique Uranus outlook leads
some Aquarian girls into peculiar
attachments, once they find the right mate
their marriages are usually models of
happiness.
Your Aquarian woman can float through her
days and nights with all the grace of a
proud swan, but she may behave like a clumsy
bear in romantic situations. The line
between friendship and love is often all but
invisible to Aquarius. Love songs about
people who only have eyes for each other
strike her as silly. There are so many
miracles in the world for eyes to behold, it
seems to her a terrible waste for two pairs
of them to do nothing but gaze into each
other's depths. Shell be glad to let you
take her hand and walk beside her as she
looks with happy delight on the sunrise, an
antique car, the milkman's horse, a yellow
garbage pail, a stuffed owl or a red balloon
caught in a church steeple. But don't
distract her with too much to-getherness.
Let her wander through her wonderland alone
when she chooses, and she'll never question
your pinochle games with the boys.
The quickest ways to lose her are to show
jealousy, pos-sessiveness or prejudice; to
be critical, stuffy or ultra-conservative.
You'll also have to like her friends, who
will come in odd, assorted sizes and shapes.
She's susceptible to sudden flashes of
inspiration, and her intuition is
remarkable. Her judgment may not seem sound
or practical at first, because she sees
months and years ahead. The Aquarian girl
lives in tomorrow, and you can only visit
there through her. What she says will come
true, perhaps after many delays and
troubles, but it will come true. I suppose,
after all, that's the most special thing
about your February woman. She's a little
bit magic.
TOP
The dream-child moving through a land
Of wonders wild and new, In friendly chat
with bird or beast-
And half believe it true.
According to Mother Goose, if your
offspring is dressed in blue, he's made of
snips and snails and puppy-dog tails. It
baby is wearing pink, she's made of sugar
and spice, and everything nice. But if he or
she was born in February, dress him
in an aquamarine cap and electric blue
booties and forget that old rhyme. This
infant is made of the raw material of
Uranus, and he's going to make you chase him
into tomorrow.
He's a quivering, sensitive, stubborn,
independent mass of invention and electrical
impulses. Even if he has a slow and careful
Taurus ascendant, his mental processes will
be as fast as Uranian lightning. His
thoughts will vibrate like high frequency
radio beams, and as he grows up, you may
feel like sending out an S.O.S. yourself.
Every mother and father think their child
is special- different and unique, compared
to other youngsters. But this one is just
ridiculous. Lots of parents of a young
Aquarian puzzle whether to send him out on
the farm, where he won't frighten neighbors,
or let the word casually get around that he
may win the Pulitzer prize someday. Which
route should you take? You have a problem.
Yes, you do. The Pulitzer is possible, but
my advice would be to try the farm for a few
summers and watch. Observe. Wait. He's
liable to invent a new plow, or just eat
them out of house and home. It depends.
There's never a cut and dried rule with
Aquarians.
I know one New York mother who just
called her Uranian son "the Bronx Wonder"
and let it go at that At least her relatives
and neighbors were as mystified as she was.
Nobody knew if the nickname meant he had
three heads or he was headed for the Hall of
Fame. As it turned out, he was a pretty good
basketball player, and most folks thought
that's why he had the tag. But they
shouldn't have been so hasty. The story's
not over yet. He's presently rotating
between composing the score for a musical
which may go on Broadway or in the
wastebasket, playing bit parts in detective
films, and making himself available for TV
commercials. (The kind that need men from
Mars types for flying saucer approaches on
soft-sell automobile spots.) He's also
working on an invention in his bedroom
(between watching the Mets play and eating
pickle sandwiches), but since he won't tell
anyone what it is, I can't give you any
clues. He has a kind of thing about clocks
and watches, so it may have something to do
with a time machine (a common Aquarian
obsession). Well, well see. There's no rush.
Lots of Aquarians don't break loose and
shower electric sparks of genius on a
waiting world until they're a young fifty.
It makes it all a little nervewracking,
waiting around like that. Of course, there
are quite a few
Aquarian child prodigies, but we're
tangled up enough trying to figure out your
average Aquarian youngster (and I use the
term average loosely).
He may end up working for the FBI or a
private eye outfit (he loves to figure out
mysteries), and become an ordinary,
sensible, conservative citizen. (Don't hold
your breath, but it's a possibility.) We'd
better concentrate on his tender years. That
way, you'll have a fighting chance to guide
this Uranus rocket in some kind of
direction.
Until maturity has mellowed Uranian
influences, and society has molded more
conventional attitudes, an Aquarian
youngster can be strongly negative. The
immediate reaction to a command (or even a
pleasant suggestion) is often an emphatic
no. But let him think about it, mull it
over, and it's surprising how many times his
final reaction will be sensible-the answer
he found by himself correct and acceptable.
These boys and girls can be calm and
sweetly docile on the surface, but the north
wind can turn them suddenly topsy turvy.
(Except that, with an Aquarian, it could be
turvy topsy. You can expect anything.)
Unpredictable in their behavior, but lovable
and often amusing, the February child can be
quite a spinning propeller to contend with.
I used that analogy because Aquarians and
Uranus rule air flight, planes and Charles
Lindbergh and things like that. Yet, these
youngsters are so full of contradictions,
instead of taking to flight naturally, many
of them have a strange, unreasonable fear of
planes and elevators-even electricity (also
ruled by Uranus). It isn't easy to direct
them or channel them. They have no idea
where they're going, but they have definite
ideas about how to get there.
Raising and teaching these "wonders" can
be a big responsibility. Their minds
combine fixed practicality with uncanny
perception and sharp, probing logic. Mix it
all up and it can be acutely embarrassing,
like when your little Aquarian asks your
best friend why she got her face lifted (she
did)-or asks your Uncle Elmer why he cheated
on his income tax in front of the Internal
Revenue man (he did).
They love to do favors for friends. Buy
your little Aquarian boy a brand new pair of
boots and he's likely to wear them out the
first day-smoothing down the snow to make it
slick so the neighborhood kids can use their
sleds.
Expect your February child to have a
dream and hold it fast-until he gets another
one. With a girl, it's likely to be a
projection of herself as a prima ballerina,
with a pure dedication to her art that would
put Pavlova to shame, a thirst to be the
first woman president or a hunger to follow
in the footsteps of Madame Curie. With the
boys, it could be an oceanographer,
ichthyologist, archaeologist,
anthropologist, an exterminator or a tree
surgeon. Normal career choices like nurses,
secretaries, clerks, salesmen, teachers,
bankers and brokers are too mundane for the
average Aquarian child's fantasies. He may
have to settle for one eventually, but the
original dream will be tucked under his left
ear and not forgotten. It's eerie, but
Aquarians can sometimes cause a thing to
happen by simply concentrating on it and
waiting.
You'll never know quite what to expect
from day to day. This is a child who may not
want to stay indoors when it rains. He'll be
out with your best sterling silver
table-spoon, digging a drain so the hill in
back of the house won't wash away.
Remember the old verse you heard as a
child that went, "The bear went over the
mountain-the bear went over the mountain-the
bear went over the mountain-to see what he
could see. The other side of the mountain-
the other side of the mountain-the other
side of the mountain-was all that he could
see." Your Aquarius youngster will have
better luck. He'll find something there.
Maybe it will be a pot of gold or just a new
species of woodpecker, but none of his
exploratory journeys will ever result in a
dead end or a total loss.
I skipped over the infant stage because
these children are never infants. They are
born middle-aged. However, many of them do
go through the toddler stage, and during
that precarious period you might be wise to
consider buying a seeing-eye dog. Keep the
dog until your little Uranian is at least
ten. He may have trouble navigating the
block without an incident. Off on his own
private cloud, he'll lope down the street in
a fog, and ram right into a telephone pole
or a mailbox. Aquarian absent-mindedness
brings on twisted ankles, broken bones and
the wrath of teachers. You may be torn
between pride, when the school reports he or
she is a budding genius-and shame, when you
receive a note saying, "Oliver simply won't
pay attention in class. He stares out the
window all day and plays with his two-way
wrist watch." Or "Gertrude refuses to
concentrate. Instead of studying, she just
sits there and flexes her arches in those
silly ballet slippers." A lecture to Oliver
and Gertrude will result in a shrug of bored
impatience. What's all the fuss about? He
was trying to figure the effect of the
summer solstice on Greenwich Mean Time, and
she was wondering what makes a caterpillar
turn into a butterfly. To their minds,
that's perfectly logical. Cheel What a
square school. Granted, they are on the
right track. But this may not be the century
to prove it.
Teachers often complain that the Aquarian
child refuses to explain, step by step, how
he arrived at his remarkable answer to a
complicated math problem before she finished
writing it on the blackboard. There's a
good, sensible reason. His Uranian
intuition, that works by some kind of unseen
radio waves, forced his mind through those
steps so quickly he just can't remember.
Almost all Aquarian children were behind the
delivery-room door when memory was passed
out. Forgetting their address is frequent,
forgetting their last name is uncomfortably
possible, and forgetting what time to come
home is par-for-the-course. Your
brilliant-and he most likely is-Uranus
youngster must be taught that his aim should
encompass more than being a human computer.
He needs to leam the importance of
organizing his thoughts in logical order.
Otherwise, a potential genius, philosopher,
engineer, scientist, doctor,
lawyer-gardener or cab driver (the last two
if you're lucky) can turn into an eccentric
adult, headed in several directions at once,
and end up going around in interesting, but
not very profitable, circles.
Encourage him to participate in physical
activity or a harmful inertia can take over
and hell daydream the hours away. It .often
takes an emergency to spur Aquarian
children to physical action, though they
can have a great love for sports. Mentally,
they're speed demons. But the body may be a
bit slower, at least around the house. They
may have an empathy for birds, trees, nature
and the seashore. They'll always prefer
their own independent discovery to organized
activity. You'll have to watch for a
tendency to say "I can't" to rationalize the
urge to avoid responsibility. The Aquarian
child may take the path of least resistance
if you let him. Teach him that he's only
fooling himself. Let him make his own
decisions, but encourage him to act on them.
Unspoken tension can deeply disturb him.
These young-•ters can almost see into the
souls of others, and hear thoughts which
haven't even been audibly expressed, which
can disturb them and leave lasting feelings
of unhappiness. Better encourage tranquility
and harmony, concentration and memory, if
you don't want an eccentric, nervous,
absent-minded bachelor or spinster with
unfulfilled dreams on your hands in thirty
years or so.
Be careful what you say and how you say
it with Aquarian youngsters. Suggestions
planted in these fertile, remarkably acute
Uranian minds in childhood can take firm
root and form fixed adult opinions. Undue
emphasis on clean hands, repeated warnings,
"Don't drink out of my glass, it's dirty,"
can cause the Aquarian youngster to grow up
with exaggerated fears and carry his own
goblet in his pocket when he goes visiting.
Being so accident prone, you can imagine
what will happen if he sits down suddenly
with that goblet there. And he does do
almost everything suddenly.
Aquarian boys and girls have multitudes
of friends. They make at least ten new ones
per day, from the street cleaner to the
truant officer and the ex-parachutist who
runs the candy store. He might even bring
home a little friend named Rockefeller for
lunch someday, too, but don't let it shake
you. You're not raising a social snob. He
won't know him from the dog catcher.
He's just another "pal."
Adolescent problems of romance may never
bother you. In fact, the Aquarian child may
have to be reminded which sex is which. Few
of these youngsters are boy crazy or girl
crazy. Just plain crazy is more of a
possibility, especially when they start
wearing those weird clothes and parting
their hair in such an odd way. This may be
about the time his hidden love of poetry
emerges, which should be encouraged. Your
little Uranian has frogs in his pockets and
stars in his eyes, but he's very special.
He's a humanitarian. He loves people. Do
you know how rare that is? As society moves
into the Aquarian age, his unprejudiced
wisdom is leading us. Aquarian boys and
girls have been chosen by destiny to fulfill
the promise of tomorrow-frogs and stars,
pickle sandwiches and all. Just nickname him
the "Twentieth Century Wonder," and let the
neighbors guess why.
TOP
"What sort of things do you remember
best?"
Alice ventured to ask. "Oh, things that
happened
the week after next."
First of all, check again. Are you sure
his birthday is late January or early
February? Are you absolutely positive your
boss is an Aquarian? Uranus-ruled executives
are as rare as albino pandas. If you have
one for a boss, you can't very well sell him
to a zoo, but consider him a collector's
item, anyway. Someday, he may be extremely
valuable.
Seriously, the typical Aquarian would
just about prefer starvation to the usual
nine-to-five office routine. Most Aquarians
dislike making decisions, they are
uncomfortable giving orders, they have no
particular desire to direct others and
they're totally incompatible with stuffy
board meetings, let alone stuffy vice
presidents. This doesn't mean Aquarians are
not competent bosses. Uranus is full of
surprises, and the totally unqualified
Aquarian boss who turns out to be absolutely
indispensable is one of them.
When an occasional Aquarian wanders into
an executive position, burdened by all the
above negative qualifications, he simply
pulls a couple of new tricks out of his bag.
He may be absent-minded and forgetful,
eccentric and unpredictable, by turns shy
and then bold, but he also has a mind like a
bear trap hidden behind those strange, vague
eyes and that detached, distant attitude.
Add to that a highly tuned, perceptive
intuitiveness which makes you think he has a
crystal ball tucked in a pocket. Throw in
his uncanny ability to analyze, dissect and
weigh the facts with insight as keen as a
razor blade-and for good measure-his sure
instinct in making a warm friend of everyone
from the office boy to the firm's biggest
customer. Back it up with the broad, liberal
Uranus philosophy which sees miles into
tomorrow, and catches the big picture in all
its scope while others are floundering over
details-and you see what I mean by
surprises. Unfitted as the average Aquarian
is for an executive role, he tosses off the
job as casually as if he had been born to
it, which he definitely was not.
There's the other side of the coin, too.
He may possibly refer to you as "My
secretary, Miss ... ah ... ah ... Miss ...
uh ... what was your name again?" He can be
maddening when he plans complicated programs
behind your back and springs them on you at
the last minute. And I'm sure you've chafed
under his frustrating habit of giving you a
completely new and unexpected job to do,
blithely neglecting to explain the reason
behind the change. But confess now, under it
all he really is rather a lovable old dear,
isn't he? Most Aquarians are, once you get
used to their peculiar ways, sudden changes
and unexpected surprises. Also, I might add,
their fixed opinions when they've made up
their mind.
If I were you, I wouldn't try to borrow
money from an Aquarian boss. If he's a
typical Aquarian, he doesn't approve of
people living beyond their income. Some
Aquarians, of course, live in comfortable
luxurious surroundings -but most of them are
quite capable of living in one shabby room
while they spend twenty hours a day
promoting better housing for the poor. He
won't be impulsive about giving raises, but
then, he won't be stingy either. You'll get
just about what you deserve with your
Aquarian boss. No more and no less. He can
be most generous when he thinks someone has
done a top job beyond the call of duty. Make
no mistake. He'll expect your best-your very
best. Anything less brings the danger of
being politely and kindly, but firmly
dropped. Kerplunk-like that. An Aquarian has
no use for people who goof off or give half
a day's work for a full day's pay. To him,
that's a form of dishonesty, and he hates
dishonesty in approximately the same degree
that a cat hates the water.
When it comes to your personal life, the
Aquarian boss hasn't the slightest desire
either to judge you or advise you. He does
have a desire to know about it, however, and
you may find it hard to escape that probing
Uranus curiosity when it comes to your
private affairs. But you can tell him
anything at all without worrying that he'll
be shocked. Nothing shocks him. He's the
best student of human nature in the zodiac,
and he'll never look down on you (anymore
than he'll look up to you). Both your vices
and your virtues blend into an interesting
and colorful pattern, as far as he's
concerned. He takes it all in stride, and it
doesn't make a ripple in his opinion of you.
The town drunk and the silly, giggling
teenager are as much his friends and as
close to him as the president of the local
university and the state senator. You'll
find literally no prejudice or
discrimination if he's a true Aquarian. In
other words, you're in danger of being fired
if he catches you stealing stamps or hiding
an unfinished report in your desk-but if he
discovers you're a bigamist, that your
father served two terms in prison, your son
smokes pot or your wife practices yoga on
the back porch in her birthday suit, he'll
just shrug, figure it's your life and
probably defend you to your critics. The
Aquarian boss won't be bothered one whit if
you're a conservative politically and you
paste a picture of Calvin Coolidge next to
his painting of Franklin Roosevelt. He won't
bat an eye at the news that you had to be
poured into a taxi after the last office
party. Just don't cheat him, lie to him
or-heaven forbid -break your word to him.
Promises and ethics and such are where he
falls into the narrow-minded category.
Unlike the Aries or Leo boss, he won't
exert energy trying to convince you that
you're making a mistake in voting for that
man, dating that girl or wearing that color
tie. And, unlike the Cancer, Capricorn or
Libra boss, he won't hint and use persuasive
strategy to change your viewpoint. Live your
life the way you choose and more power to
you for being an individualist is his creed.
On the other hand, don't ever attempt to
dictate his personal code to him, either. He
won't show any anger, or probably even feel
any. He may even smile and nod
thoughtfully, with that faraway look in his
eyes, but you might as well talk to the
wall. He'll listen to almost anybody.
Listen.
That's all.
Although he forms his own code of ethics
and keeps his own counsel in relation to his
personal and private life, business
decisions are another matter. He's very
likely, if he's like the average Uranian
man, to request everyone's -opinion on
projected procedures-and sometimes even ask
a subordinate to make the final decision.
There's a method to this madness, and it's
not the same as with the indecisive Libran.
Aquarius isn't passing the buck. He enjoys
sitting back with an I-told-you-so look when
the decision you made (against his acutely
accurate intuition) falls as, flat as a
pancake-to teach you a lesson. You do have
to watch that. Aquarian bosses are usually
willing to give you all the rope you need to
hang yourself with and another several yards
besides, if you ask for it. You're lucky if
he explains even once just exactly why he
thinks you're on the wrong track. When he's
done that-which is unusual enough-he won't
explain a second time. You take it from
there. Catch it clearly the first time or
youll get some confusing double-talk to
remind you to pay attention to what he says.
He expects you to be able to wiggle your
antennae and pick up anything you've missed
out of the atmosphere. He doesn't realize
that other people don't have his Uranian
gift for absorbing information from three
people talking all at once while he peels an
orange, dials a phone number and shuffles
through a stack of inter-office memos.
Don't get too set in your ways around an
Aquarian executive. You're liable to walk in
some morning and find your office has been
moved to another floor and he forgot to tell
you. There's always change in the air around
this man. You may have the unsettling
experience of having him sweep down
unexpectedly one day with a big, warm,
friendly grin and throw your entire system
out the window -the system the office has
been using since the Civil War. In its place
he'll substitute a new method, faster and
less cluttered with detail. You say you
can't adjust that quickly? You need at least
six months to make the change and the new
system is Greek to you at this point? He
can't understand that. It's perfectly clear
to him. Don't worry, you'll catch on. Hell
wait. He's patient.
And that he is. The normal Uranus-ruled
mind may be full of nervous curiosity just
beneath the surface, but generally the
Aquarian takes it fairly easy, and projects
an image of calm and thoughtful
deliberation. You'll notice I said
generally. Of course, there was the time he
actually ran out of the office to catch
those six fire trucks, the turtle race he
staged on his carpet with real turtles, and
the day he had those miniature TV sets
delivered to each desk during the World
Series. And of course there was that morning
he took over the switchboard, just to see
what it was like, mixed up all the calls,
disconnected everyone, accidentally got a
big TV network veep on a crossed wire and
sold him a half a million dollar deal-then
forgot the man's name when he came in to
sign the contract. But normally he's placid
and controlled. So he's a little eccentric
now and then: he has the water cooler moved
once a month so you can't find it, and he
likes to change your day off with no notice.
What are a few minor annoyances like that
when you work for a boss who's sincerely
fascinated by that book you're writing on
Kansas City jazz? And how can you stay mad
at a boss who doesn't mind if the bookkeeper
grows a beard, his secretary wears white fur
boots with rhinestone heels to work or the
new filing clerk parks his bicycle in the
reception room?
He may spend one day talking your ear
off, and the next week secluded inside his
office, ignoring staff, customers and
suppliers, deep in lonely thought. He's
resting his soul, and those periods of
retreat are necessary. Regardless of how
recently you joined the firm, he'll consider
you his friend. He's even good friends with
the competition. No matter what it says on
your company letterhead, the real business
of your Aquarian boss is friendship.
Somebody discussing today's corporate
conformity recently said, "Give me back the
good old-time individualist executive with
the gravy spots on his tie, who got things
done without calling a committee meeting for
every little snag." The poor man Was
undoubtedly undergoing a rush of nostalgia
for an Aquarian boss he had years ago.
Those of you who work for a Uranian
probably don't have the common problem of
the boss's wife dropping in unexpectedly
while things are a mess and the painters are
tearing the reception room apart. She's
lucky if she knows where he works, let alone
has permission to drop in on him. Aquarians
don't confide every little activity to their
wives. I used to live next door to the
February-born executive of a research firm
who once didn't get around to telling his
wife he had to fly to Europe on business
until he arrived there and noticed he didn't
have any clean shirts. (He was quite put out
about it, and he told her so when he phoned
her from London. Somehow, it was all her
fault. She should have anticipated he might
make a trip.)
Funny how you kept remembering all the
idiosyncrasies of your own Aquarian
executive last week while you watched him
get the Man of the Year award from
the mayor at that big formal banquet. You
had just decided that, regardless of his
unpredictable ways and his dippy habits, he
was actually one of the most distinguished
bosses a person could have. Then you
happened to look down under the table-and
there were his feet tapping the rug
impatiently, clad in neat black dress shoes,
wearing one blue sock and one yellow sock.
TOP
Twinkle, twinkle, little bat! How I
wonder what you're at! Up above the world
you fly, Like a teortray in the sky.
You shouldn't have any trouble spotting
your Aquarian employee. He's the one with
all the friends. You know, the one who
forgot his brief case this morning-the same
man who casually dropped in your office last
month to borrow your fountain pen and left
behind a production idea which has saved
your company $30,000 in overtime so far,
according to the latest check by the
auditor.
It should also be a snap to remember the
day you hired him. He's that fellow you
thought came in to sell you a box at Yankee
Stadium-then you decided he was soliciting
funds for Shakespeare-in-the-Park, finally
figured he was taking one of those political
polls-and didn't realize until after he left
that he had actually stopped by to apply for
a job. If you don't remember him, it's
five-to-one your secretary does. Aquarius
men seem to make an instant and lasting
impression on women, even those who look
like neglected, underfed puppy dogs with
figures loosely resembling Ichabod Crane's.
Some people might jump to the hasty
conclusion this is the mother-instinct, but
they would be wrong. The real Uranus
attraction for females is the Aquarian's
absolute indifference to their existence. It
drives them to distraction. He's a challenge
they can't resist-so they either retaliate
by trying to vamp him or by snubbing him
back, neither of which makes the slightest
impression on your Aquarian employee. He can
be totally blind to a female co-worker for
weeks, literally not seeing her, then one
fine spring morning suddenly startle her
with the information that her eyes are the
exact shade of a robin's egg he once found
in a tree, and she's gone. I mean,
completely lost. She may not type a word the
rest of the day.
Life with an Aquarian employee can be
exhilarating and leave you a little
breathless. It's not that they're extroverts
or flamboyant or practical jokers. Quite the
reverse. Many Aquarians are sober, cool,
aloof and removed from the mad world around
them. The only trouble is that they've
removed themselves fifty years ahead, and
when they rocket back to the present every
few days or so, they've bagged some unusual
ideas from the stratosphere. If you're a
smart boss, you'll invite the Uranus man to
your office for a chat once a week. It could
be profitable. Who knows what you might pick
up? When he tells you in the proper
technical language exactly what's wrong
with that loose screw under the fourth bolt
in the new machine that keeps breaking down,
you may start to wonder if he has
been to Mars and back since you saw him on
the elevator yesterday. Especially after
you check personnel records and see that he
didn't take a course in science or mechanics
at college. Still, the informal conference
with him may not always turn out so
profitably. He may leave after that little
confidential talk with your check for a few
thousand dollars for the preservation of
Basketball on Indian Reservations-or the
Research Society for Investigating Psychic
Phenomena in Smyrna. The Aquarian interests
are worldwide.
Chances are this seemingly quiet,
brilliant and friendly young man won't stay
around long enough for you to remember his
face. The Aquarian male will either begin at
the top, work his way up there in a few
weeks, decide to go it alone as a composer,
photographer, ornithologist, dancer, singer,
clown, writer, juggler, athlete, geologist,
radio or TV announcer, etc.-or leave you to
drift from job to job "looking for himself."
Someday he'll find himself, too. When he
does, he usually stays in one place for a
lifetime. Until that moment of truth,
however, our Uranus-ruled friends spend a
period of time just roaming around,
experimenting, learning, looking,
investigating, and picking up new friends.
He's not sentimental by nature. He has a
scientific attitude, but there's also a
strong interest in people, what makes them
laugh and what makes them cry. An Aquarian
does not lean toward emotionalism (except
rarely when he's in the clutch of an
eccentric rush of behavior, perhaps a
reaction to some very disturbing personal
experience). Unfortunately, his ideas and
opinions are often considered irrational and
impractical, but that's just because his
critics aren't tuned to his frequency-half a
century ahead. Imagine how your grandmother
felt when some Aquarian back in the nineties
tried to describe color television and
astronauts landing on the moon. That gives
you a fair idea of the reception
Uranus-ruled people get today when they
start in on their theory of a time machine,
and how it could be designed with safety
valves so a defective switch won't get you
lost somewhere in 1770.
You may notice the Aquarian employee with
a different friend each week or so. It's
difficult for him to be satisfied with any
one individual at a time, since his
sympathies run into so many channels. It's
common for him, therefore, to give more
friendship than he receives.
The first thing you may have to do is
decide which kind of Aquarian you have
employed. There's only one basic Uranus
type-but there are two ways in which the
Aquarian nature can manifest itself. The
first kind is the suave, pipe-smoking
professor type, with a relaxed manner and
not a few eccentric habits, who lives in an
elegant but curious apartment full of
Egyptian mummies, a tree from India planted
in the center of the room, bells from
Sumatra, 16th Century tables and early
American rockets, plus a mod painting or two
and maybe an old airplane propeller hanging
over the fireplace. He dines on gourmet
foods like roasted grasshoppers and steak
tartar with ants' eggs sprinkled on top.
He's usually brilliant.
The other kind lives in a tiny room over
the subway, eats mustard sandwiches and
watches his favorite TV show on the first
set ever manufactured. He scatters his
inventions all over the corner table, picks
out tunes on a dusty piano, and washes the
dishes once a week. He is also brilliant.
The trouble is, when you get them both out
in normal society, it's hard to tell the
difference.
Both are conscientious workers. Both have
a high degree of intelligence, as well as
uncanny perception and a fine sensitivity to
everyone around them. They each soak up
knowledge while appearing to be engrossed in
some abstract theory. Their memories are
weak but their intuitive powers more than
make up for it. They're extremely odd in
their habits, kind and sympathetic, usually
very courteous, and they wear unusual
combinations of clothing. They're each
loyal, honest and have a strict code which
is never violated. ;
Both are bachelors, and they number about
five thousand good friends each, ranging
from Leonard Bernstein and Joe Namath to
Scarface Al and Minnie, the apple lady who'
takes numbers. So you see? An Aquarian is an
Aquarian. A pipe, a mustard sandwich or a
couple of Egyptian mummies between a couple
of lotus trees have nothing at all to do
with it.
You can be safe in assuming your Aquarian
worker is giving you a full day's work for
his pay. Although he's probably the real
cause of your secretary's severe skin rash
her doctor can't diagnose or cure, he may
end up on the front page of The New York
Times someday, being presented with a
plaque or something and you can say "I knew
him when." He can also contribute some
pretty sane, concrete thinking to your firm
which will possibly even result in bringing
it up to the Twentieth Century. He's utterly
trustworthy with company secrets, and
probably the best customer's man -you can
find, because he'll make friends with your
coldest client and wonder why everyone
thought he was so tough to deal with. To the
Aquarian, he's just another human with some
intriguing aspect to his personality to be
uncovered with a few polite, direct
questions and a little observation.
This employee isn't likely to nudge you
constantly for a raise, because money is
usually down there on the bottom of his
list, along with women. But he's shrewd
enough to know his worth, and it wouldn't be
wise to take advantage of him. He may cause
some raised eyebrows, but he'll seldom cause
any scandal or petty office gossip. You
won't find him filled with much intense,
driving ambition, yet he has one of the
finest minds in the zodiac. If you should
decide he knows enough to make him your
partner, he'll never steal the business from
you-and he can be a most decided asset,
possibly even bring worldwide prestige to
the firm someday.
When he does eventually decide to get
married, you may lose a good secretary (he
won't want his wife to work), but you want
the poor girl's skin rash to clear up, don't
you?Child of the pure, unclouded brow
And dreaming eyes of wonder! Though
time be fleet, and I and thou
Are half a Life asunder, Thy loving
smile will surely hail The love-gift of a
fairy-tale.